Asthma has been playing up a bit this week especially at night and in the morning, but it’s nothing major so I just need to have nebs more often I think.
On Tuesday we got results from this IQ test thing based on GCSEs and an aptitude test, no one was predicted above a C, I was predicted DDD on average. So yeah it was disappointing, especially as when I did my GCSEs I was in and out of hospital and was in High Dependency Unit for some of my exams. So while I could understand that. my tutor’s comment upset me a little bit, she said anyone who is predicted Ds from that test is very unlikely if at all to go on to get As and she essentially said there wasn’t any point me pursuing Medicine as a career based on that test. Since September, I have done consistently well in Sociology (working at an A grade), Human Biology (working at an A/B grade) and Chemistry is going better than I thought it would be going but haven’t been formally marked on it yet. So her saying this has made me feel like why are you saying this when you know I am doing OK studies wise? Should I give up on something I am so determined to do? Am I wasting my time? It makes me a little angry too as she obviously doesn’t realise how determined I am to be a doctor. I am a bit worried to be posting this and then finding her to be right because it will be a ‘ I told you so’ kind of thing but I feel I need to get it off my chest.
I am actually starting to understand the cell biology stuff in Human Biology, so hopefully if I keep working at it I will be fine. I am still finding Sociology a bit boring but I like the lesson debates. We are doing a lot of theory work in Chemistry at the moment which is fine but gets a little confusing sometimes cos there is a lot of overlap. I need to begin revising everything now.
My exams all fall in my birthday week including one on my birthday!
Tuesday 12th January 2010- Human Biology
Thursday 14th January 2010- Chemistry
Friday 15th January 2010- Sociology (My birthday!)
So I have about 7 weeks of revision time, which I don’t think is very long and I am annoyed I haven’t started exam revision earlier.
I am doing OK asthma-wise this week apart from nights being a bit worse than usual, but thats the way it goes!
I have so much to do over the next couple of weeks, I’ve arranged to meet up with friends several times some of whom have returned home from uni, I need to of course revise, I agreed to write a few paragraphs about the asthma conference for Asthma Magazine which I need to do ASAP, buy christmas presents and write cards umm what else?…
My friend said something today which made me think, why do we focus so much on the negative things? We are only given so much in life that we can personally cope with, why can’t we focus on what we can do and not on what we can’t do? It feels very defeatist. Our illnesses and difficulties in life don’t make us who we are, it is how we deal with them. I have some amazing friends who try so hard not to let asthma (of any severity) and other conditions get in the way of their lives, they inspire me to just get on with things and to power through. We only have this life why don’t we live it to the full?
take care, simi x
So its been 2 weeks since I updated my blog, its been a mixed 2 weeks.
I went to see my consultant last week and I also did an Exercise Tolerance Test. I hadn’t been told I had to have the Exercise Tolerance Test until the day before my appointment and I didn’t appreciate it as I had no idea what it would involve, especially as when I turned up I found out it would involve taking capillary blood gases from my ear and I am very afraid of pain and needles. I was having the Exercise Tolerance Test to see how much my oxygen levels desaturated during exercise. I had a pulse oximeter placed on one of my ears and I had capillary blood gases taken from my other ear at different stages of the study as well spirometry before and after the test. I was having a good day asthma-wise so the test went well, I didn’t desaturate oxygen levels much. 🙂
I went to my appointment afterwards, my consultant as I mentioned a few posts back was changed after my previous one was due to retire; he disagrees with my previous consultant about subcut, he feels it doesn’t work for anyone and therefore in at least my case its not really an option, I don’t really have an opinion on this either way, I’m glad in a way that I won’t be going on it due to my needle phobia.
After looking through some of my notes and looking at tests I have had, he now thinks I have Anaphylaxis in addition to Asthma (and Eczema). As Xolair although theoretically should be suitable for me isn’t an option due to my IgE level being far too out of range, he is now considering Cyclosporin which is an Immunosuppresant drug. I’m not comfortable with the idea of this but I will think it through properly. He also thinks I need to take Vitamin supplements due to multiple food allergies resulting from Salicylate Sensitivity, Oral Allergy Syndrome and Latex Fruits allergy and I should therefore avoid most fruits and vegetables. This feels quite extreme. Because of this and the conclusion reached for some time that my asthma seems to have a fairly strong allergy component I will also be going to an Allergy Clinic too, this is so than a diet can be made up to suit my allergies with the allergy dietician and see what allergies can be worked on with the allergists.
So yeah I think that is pretty much all that has happened, I’ve probably forgot something because quite a bit happened.
College isn’t going so well at the moment, I am beginning to struggle with Human Biology as I find Cell Biology difficult to grasp and I am struggling with some concepts and calculations in Chemistry. I am finding Sociology to be a bit boring but on a positive note I did get 88% on my first essay which is like an A which I was pleased and surprised about. 🙂
I went to another Asthma UK Youth Forum meeting (14/11) it was good but it was raining a lot! It was a shame that it was a smaller meeting than usual but never mind hopefully our next meeting in January will be bigger 🙂
Christmas is coming soon and I really can’t wait 😀 I love Christmas not like for the presents (which are of course nice!) but I just love the festive atmosphere..
So I think I’ve nearly finished my ramble which I was going to post on Sunday but was too tired to post hehe.
Thought of the day – Live life to the full.
take care x
I have been on half term this week, I go back to college tomorrow eeek! So I promised myself I would study all the way through the week.- Didn’t happen. Something kept coming up or else I was too tired to get on with it. I am really disappointed with myself. So while I will have managed to get homework out of the way I feel like I haven’t got wanted I wanted to out of half term. I have exams in January so I have approximately 2 months to consolidate everything I have learnt to be prepared for my exams. And of course there is Christmas in December so I will probably lose a week of revision. I’m going to have to be really firm with myself and get studying because these exams are so important.
Positives of half term have been that I have organised my college work even if I haven’t managed to get college work done, caught up with some friends, spent some extra time with my mum and resting I guess. 🙂
There was an incident the other night, I was up around 1am talking to my friend on the phone and we have these double doors in our living room which lead directly outside into a garden area well the blinds were closed apart from a largish crack because there was there was a chair against the door well to cut the long story short; a man was staring at me, I don’t know how long he was standing there for looking at me right against the glass. He made direct eye contact with me but he didn’t leave I started shouting and he didn’t move, I woke my mum up and as soon as he realised I wasn’t alone he went. I felt quite vulnerable after this happened and couldn’t get to sleep til around 5am because I was worried he would come back. It made me wonder whether it was the person who had stolen my laptop.