I finished my summer exams on Tuesday (08/06)! It feels really weird at the moment because my life for at least the past month or so has just been revision, revision, revision and now it is a bit of a shock because I don’t really know what to do with myself. I said I would catch up on some sleep but that hasn’t really happened yet because I am not used to it. I go back to college on 14th June to begin progression to A2, the second half of the A Levels course, so I have a few days free now. Last week was meant to be half term break but it well wasn’t as it was the week before 3 of my exams so I was attending revision classes, revising at home or otherwise getting very panicked and stressed. I am a bit surprised at how stressed I got over my exams; it affected my asthma, lack of appetite, I was snapping easily, had headaches etc basically pretty much textbook stress.
On Monday (07/06) I had my Chemistry exam which was worth 50% of my grade for this year… so no pressure then! The day before I had spent most of the day revising for the exam and had only a couple of breaks to eat dinner for example. I went to bed at 1am but didn’t sleep really all night; I was restless and kept thinking about Chemistry things like mechanisms, definitions and theory. Pretty much on the hour I was opening my eyes to look at the clock, I got up early and began revising again and totally had the knotted up feeling in the bottom of my stomach about the exam and went to college. The paper was an hour and 45 minutes, my second longest paper this summer. It was a paper that I felt had a couple of bits which I didn’t like but I liked the longer questions but I messed up on the question with a lot of maths in it which also cut into the time I had left to complete the exam as I spent so long struggling on it, so I attempted all the questions and to be honest I am just glad it is out of the way, it wasn’t a totally awful paper and it wasn’t in some ways as bad as I thought it would be but all the same it was a hard paper. I go to town to pick up some meds and fall asleep on the bus so I head into a coffee shop and get some coffee to try to wake up then I headed home which was a bit eventful in itself. Get home and basically crammed revision all night for the 2 exams the next day, I was planning to revise till 2 or 3 in the morning but at 11.55 I like just seemed to have ran out of energy it seems and I zonked out on my revision stuff so admitted defeat for the time being and went to bed deciding to wake up at 6am and revise some more.
Dreaded Tuesday (08/06), I wake up at about 6.30; didn’t sleep so well but still at least I did sleep. I start doing some revision and exchange texts with a friend about how much we’re panicking and more or less end up spending more time texting than revising but I managed to read through my short Sociology revision notes and look through my Human Biology book deciding I would look through my notes in between the exams. I leave to go college it is raining lots meet up with my friend and decide to have a quick last minute bit of Human Biology revision before the exam although I wasn’t take that exam till the afternoon as both exams were scheduled for the same time, I took Sociology in the morning. So I go to the room I usually go to for my exams turned out I’m on the next floor up so I take the stairs…this was bad idea. I get rather wheezy and needed to have a neb before starting the exam, the paper was ok but one of the essay questions threw me a bit, it was about Marketisation of Education and there aren’t really any studies or people to relate it to so I just basically wrote down everything I knew about it. Exam finishes and I’m taken down to the room with other people who also had exam clashes turned out that they were my friends so this was good got some lunch and had a chat about the exam, then did a bit of Human Biology revision. I went back to same room again and did the paper which I quite honestly think could have been a lot worse than it was, there was only one or 2 questions which I was stumped on but I attempted everything so that’s something I guess. So exams over! Although I am happy the exams are over it is also scary in that there’s nothing I can do now and will have to wait until August to see how I did in the exams.
I have kind of been neglecting my asthma a bit because of the pollen, exams and stress it is causing, I am using a lot of reliever inhaler and nebs and I know things aren’t great at the moment chest-wise but could obviously be a lot worse. I am staying out of hospital so this is a great positive. I also seem to maybe have a chest infection so the sensible thing to do would be to go back to the doctors but I just feel so… tired and don’t have the motivation at the moment – it seems like I’d rather struggle a bit which is completely stupid but I guess I will eventually go and get checked over.